(To be read in a British accent)
Some people are just cooler than others.
I mean, to be quite honest, I never wanted to be the one who came out and said it, but come on… I’m freakin’ cool.
I first started wearing the one-piece rabbit suit when I was quite young, most likely younger than you are right now. I remember there was this one Halloween way back when I was eight or nine years old, I looked up at my Mum and, in the cutest, sweetest voice, I asked her, “Mum, I think I’ll be a rabbit for Halloween this year, is that all right with you?”
She looked back at me, fond of her little boy, and she replied, “Why yes, my dear, a rabbit it is.”
It was after that first Halloween way back then, that I realized just how cozy the one-piece suit was. I reluctantly undressed post trick-or-treat and got into my nightdress. As I tucked myself into bed that night, I remember being so vastly uncomfortable. I quickly untucked myself, slid out of bed and went over to my dresser—there had to be a way for me to sew and stitch together pants to a top. I was determined.
Much to my dismay, I was wrong. Being the eight- (or nine-) year-old boy that I was, I couldn’t stitch nor sew. So, I got back into bed and thought and thought and dreamed and dreamed of the many ways I would convince my dear ol’ Mum to purchase for me my very own one-piece suit to be worn daily.
The following morning, bright and early, I walked over to the kitchen table where my mother was, of course, reading the morning paper, and I asked her, “Mum, I looked quite cool last night in that one-piece suit, did I not?”
“Oh, darling. You looked precious,” she replied.
I spent the next twenty minutes or so explaining to dear ol’ Mumsy how I had decided that from that day forth, I would only, exclusively, wear a one-piece suit. I would not only wear this suit every day of my very existence, but the style of said suit would not stop at my neck or toes. My shoes were to be built in, as was a headpiece, mouth-hole cut out. I would buy the fabric in white and color onto it whatever it was that I fancied at that very moment.
And so was the birth of cool, Abori Coolness, for that is my full name.
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